Letting go

A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her cross to the other side.

The two monks glanced at one another because they had taken vows not to touch a woman.

Then, without a word, the older monk picked up the woman, carried her across the river, placed her gently on the other side, and carried on his journey.

The younger monk couldn’t believe what had just happened. After rejoining his companion, he was speechless, and an hour passed without a word between them.

Two more hours passed, then three, finally the younger monk could contain himself any longer, and blurted out “As monks, we are not permitted a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?”

The older monk looked at him and replied, “Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river, why are you still carrying her?”

This simple story stayed very close to me since I heard it many years ago after a Vipassana silent meditation.

It speaks elegantly of living in the present moment. How often do we carry around past hurts, our suffering, our trauma, our anger and blame, holding onto resentments when the only person we are really hurting is ourselves?

We all go through difficult times in life. We can chose to ruminate over the past actions and create our identity from these moments, but it will ultimately weigh us down and sap our energy.

Instead we can choose to fully witness them, shining our pristine awareness upon the past and infusing it with loving kindness to let go of what doesn’t serve us anymore and concentrate on the present moment. Until we can find a level of peace and happiness in the present circumstances of our lives, we will never be content, because ‘now’ is all we will ever have.

I often remind people of a simple technique that a great teacher of mine offers. It is one of the most basic, direct and impactful technique that anyone can do at any time: Sighing.

To sigh is to be in the present moment. To speak directly to your wholeness saying “all is well”. When we sigh without effort, without “trying” and simply let ourselves fill and empty with the soft sound of our voice and the intention to soften we instantly can shift into a state of relaxation, presence and openness.

So friends, when things become difficult. When you find yourself stuck in the past, remember the Monks and take a deep Sigh, letting yourself become soft, remembering the honey of your heart.